Transitions and Adjustments.

As adults we are used to change. We leave a job, graduate from school, move houses or apartments, cities or towns. We are so accustomed to change because we have experienced it throughout our entire life span. The burning question is, when we go through a change how does it affect our children.

My son is 3 years old right now and most children at that age can not express the anxieties they feel when they are going through a dramatic change. Most children at his age are welcoming a new brother or sister or moving from preschool to kindergarten. Unfortunately I have introduced my little guy to a new kind of change, a temporary living circumstance. I accepted a contract for a live-in personal support worker position. It is a 5 month contract and it involves Ben and I to reside with my client and his 2 children aged 3 and 6. It is great for Ben to have kids around but he has not known anything other then living with just his mama. It has been just him and I in our own place since he was 4 months old. He is not used to having a whole other family under the same roof and he has been reacting to it in ways that are hidden to the blind eye. He seems like his normal self. He is happy, playing, laughing and is loving every moment of having live in play mates but he is showing some signs of what I think is anxiety. He complains 6-10 times a day of a stomach ache and has been showing a few different behavioural issues that are new for him.

Although this is just a temporary living situation I cant help but feel guilty for putting him through this. I know that he is missing his familiar settings, his cat (who is currently at my nanas) and his furniture and bunk beds. He can not verbalize this to me as I dont believe he is even fully aware that he is in fact missing these things but his actions are speaking to me in ways his words may not be able to.

We are taking things one day at a time and although I see he is adjusting better then I had thought he would, like i said it is showing in other ways. I know that people come into these circumstances all the time as a single parent. Moving back in with their parents, sharing accommodations or even having a roommate. Its all normal things to go through when you are single and looking for alternative ways to save money and provide for your child. Although our circumstances are a bit unique I just keep reminding myself that we will come out better in the end. I will be getting paid and living rent free, saving all my money so that we can one day buy a place to call our own. I am doing this for Ben, it may affect him in the short term but I know in the long run it is better for us both.

Id love to hear others experiences on transition. Please comment below.

- Staci SMFS

New Girl on the Block...

After hearing about this idea from Staci more then 6 months ago, here I am, jumping on board for the journey which I know is going to be rewarding for all of us involved and for all the single mom's we help along the way.  I met Staci while going to school 3 years ago.  We both enrolled in a program that we were not really passionate about and thought it would be a brilliant idea to lean on each other for support and study help.  I'm sure you can imagine how successful we were together when we both had no real desire to be in the program.  Our study sessions included wine, music and a talking bird (yes, a real talking bird).  Through Staci, I met Valerie and Kim, who are both amazing people and amazing moms.  We have all come together to be a shoulder to lean on, help to point you in the right direction and proof that you can and will make it.

During the time of going to school and meeting Staci, my relationship with my son's father was coming to an end.  I had been with him for 7 years and had fallen completely out of love with him.  We were in a very 'young' relationship.  I was 19 when I met him and he was 20, needless to say we had a lot of growing up to do and I guess we grew up together and in the process grew apart.  From the beginning there were trust issues, lying, cheating and just disrespectful behaviour.  Not to say that we didn't have amazing times together, it's just that sometimes the cons outweigh the pros.  We tried councling towards the end, grabbing at straws to try and keep it together for our son, but it was too little too late.  In order for us to be happy and most importantly for our son to be happy, we couldn't stay together any longer.  He left and Isaiah and I started our lives together.  It was during that time that I realized how completely lost in the relationship I was.  I had lost my own identity and lost the happy, go lucky person I was.  I had become a person that I despised.  A grumpy, nagging, yelling, resentful girlfriend.  After he left though I slowly but surely got back to who I knew I was and who i was happy with.  Without the love and support from my friends and family I would be lost.  As cheesy as it may sound, this is what Single Moms, Fresh Start is all about, being the friends and family for single moms in need.



Now onto the subject that I can go on for days and days about.  The never-ending beat in my heart, the always and forever thought in my head, the constant twitch in my eye (joke..but not really), my red headed, freckled faced love of my life Isaiah.  Born April 2008, he came out crying, continued crying for 3 years and now as a 4 year old the crying has turned into whining.  Atleast a swaddle or a rock in the rocking chair when he was a baby could stop the crying, the whining on the other hand...I'll get back to you on that when I have it figured out..PLEASE HELP!! :)
He radiates personality and leaves an impression on everyone he meets.  Wither it be good or bad, they always remember Isaiah.  I never knew I could love someone as much as I love him.  I have many goals that I want to accomplish in life, but the one that will make or break me is to raise him to be a good, honest and respectful man.

Leave a child alone to shave and this is what happens

Single Moms, Fresh Start. What we stand for..

This weekend changed my life, and really identified what Single Moms, Fresh Start really stands for.

We have posted many times links to our facebook page and website hoping to reach out to other single mothers in need that are willing to open up to us. This past week a young mothers reached out to us on our Facebook page. She shared her story with me after much communication via email. She requested some information on mommy groups so I was able to provide her with some links. She also asked me about breast feeding and said she really needed a pump but could not afford one.

(Her daughter is 5 weeks old, she left her fiance after many abusive episodes and ran to her fathers house where she currently resides with 5 other kids, 2 siblings and her father and step mother. She did not have anything for her little girl. After learning her story I set out to do whatever I could to help her)

Her story touched me deeply and some what hit home. I am part of a group on Faceebook called Pink and Blue. The community of Pink and Blue are upper class families in Toronto and Thornhill that share parenting tips and post questions in regards to parenting and many other things. I posted in that group on Wednesday night in hopes to find this mommy a breast pump and perhaps a few other articles of clothing for her daughter. Within an hour I had 125 responses to my post. I began collecting phone numbers and addresses of mothers who were willing to donate clothing, breast pump, bath stuff, diapers and wipes and much much more. At the end of Wednesday night I had collected 17 addresses and phone numbers (I even had to turn people down because I did not know how I would fit everything in my car). I asked my mom if she could collect in the north end as that is where she resides. A friend from school wanted to jump on board so I sent her to mid town Toronto and I travelled around the downtown core. We all collected the items on Friday afternoon and met back up at my moms to transfer the stuff into mine and my friends car. We made the delivery by 5pm Friday evening and the feeling was just so inspirational and overwhelming. My heart felt full.

This is why we started Single Moms, Fresh Start, so that we could set out to help other mothers who are in need. This is our first success story and this is what I live for. This is proof that all you need to do is reach out and ask for help and you shall receive. Dont be afraid! One act of kindness started a community wide movement. After my post on Pink and Blue many other mothers wanted to get involved in helping those in need. I was blown away with the warm hearts and inspiration. Thank you to all who contributed to this empowering movement. Please continue to support us as we are on a mission to help single mothers in need of support and hopefully we can all come together and pay it forward.

-Staci SMFS

Soap, Bubble Bath, Shampoo, Play Dough?

I wouldn't usually promote a product that I don't personally sell but I am making an exception. If you are familiar with LUSH then you know that LUSH is an all natural (no preservative) beauty supply store that sells soaps, bath products, shampoos, deodorant powders, facial washes and scrubs and much more. LUSH is also a product that does NOT test on animals. Although it is pricey I am in love with this store and their products. Which is why I try to avoid it when I am walking through the local shopping mall. Today however I decided to go in and take a look around. A product wrapped in plastic with bright bubbly colours caught my attention, it was called FUN. I had never seen this product before which is odd for me so I had to inquire. The lady told me that it was a soap, shampoo and bubble bath that is perfect for children because its in a play dough form and it also turns the bath water the colour of the product. It smelt fantastic! The cost was only $7 and the LUSH lady said it will last well over 2 months. She also informed me that with each FUN bought one is sent to Japan for the kids who survived the tsunamis and proceeds were donated from each purchase as well. I HAD to buy it!

I bought the green one for my son and brought it home (it smelt like fresh zesty lime) I think I was more excited to try it out then him. I crumpled a bit into the running water for the bubbles and the colour then I broke off a chunk and handed it to my 3 year old. He smushed it around and rubbed his body with it. It became very sudsy which is great and it turned his body green so he could see what remaining body parts he had to wash! Not only was it fun and exciting but he was washing himself without my help!!

I give this product 5 stars. It's fantastic and fun and there is an amazing cause behind it. Please check out www.lush.ca. You can order directly online if there is not a LUSH near you.

Please stay tuned onto our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/SingleMomsFreshStart. We will be holding a contest for 3 lucky mommies to win a FUN bar for their little ones to enjoy!

Please leave us a comment and let us know one of your favourite products to use for your little one in or out of the bath.

-Staci SMFS