Sunday, January 6, 2013

When nights are never ending and mornings come to soon

We all dread the 6am wake up call. Mine usually comes with a jump on the head. But the question is, how do you avoid 6am mornings and never ending nights?

I feel for Kim. As mothers especially single ones our sleep is probably the most important thing we need to lead a successful day. I have a few secrets of my own and I must say they work like a charm.

When Ben was a new born we stuck him in his crib the minute we got home from the hospital. For most that is hard to do especially because the night time feedings seem to come in intervals. I was lucky for the first 3 months I was still with Ben's dad and he was willing to get up in the middle of the night to feed Ben. Unfortunately I was one of the unlucky ones who could not breast feed. I had no milk to produce and our poor baby was starving and I had to move to formula. I did not give up on breast feeding though I continued to feed Ben through a tube so he would still latch but afar 4 weeks of pumping 20x a day and 16 supplements I still came up dry so we resorted to a bottle. I guess in a sense that was lucky because his dad and I could take shifts but that all fell apart when I was sent off on my own.

I moved out when Ben was 4 months old and bedtime was something I had to handle in my own way now. I began to rock Ben to sleep in his stroller because he wouldn't go down in his crib. This carried on for 3 months until I got fed up with rocking for hours on end, so I sleep trained Ben at 6 months. I let him cry the first night and that only last 30 min, the second was 15 and the 3rd he was off to bed without a fuss. It was easy to do. I know most parents are against it but I was alone and did not see another option. It worked and thats all that mattered because I needed my sleep in order to provide for Ben and be alert through out the following day. Ben slept through the night and he usually woke up between 8-9 am which was great. It was only recently that he has been waking up very early. Doesn't matter what time I put him to bed, he was getting up at 6am. I to used Kim's tactic and told Ben that he should not be getting up if the sun isn't awake. That worked but backfired at nap time. "but mommy the sun is awake so i can't go to sleep now"

So here is my secret. The iPad. Some may not have access to an iPad, I was lucky enough to get it as a birthday present and boy does it save my life.
When Ben wakes up early I hand him the iPad and he lays in bed with me watching netflix or playing educational games until about 830-9. Now I know some children are very energetic in the morning time and this would be a difficult tool to use for those kids. My suggestion is to find something that keeps your kids sitting for a long period of time and put it in your room the night before. Crayons and a piece of paper, a tv and their fav show or maybe a few books they can flip through. I also keep a bowl of cheerios beside my bed. If Ben is hungry as soon as he wakes up (which is rarely) he is able to snack on the cheerios before its breakfast time.

So bedtime routine. Ben has a bath and a book and some milk before bed. We sit together and chat about what happened that day and then I give him a kiss goodnight. I had to put a lock on the outside of his door when we moved to our new house because Ben would leave his room in the middle of the night and his door is right beside the stairs so it was extremely dangerous. Well that lock also comes in handy for bedtime. When it is bedtime Ben now knows he is not allowed to leave his room. He can lay in bed and look at a book or play with a stuffed animal if he isn't tired but he usually is able to put himself to sleep. We have had issues of him wanting to sleep in bed with me in the past because of circumstances but we get passed that and I make sure I am stern about bed time.

Some people my not agree with my approach and that is ok. Hopefully we are all not here to pass judgement because we all have a different and unique way of parenting and as single mothers we tend to do what works best for us. This is what worked best for me. My son is a happy little guy who sleeps well and that gives him more energy throughout the day to learn and engage.

We would love to hear your stories on how you manage to get your little one to sleep and what you do in the morning time.

-Staci  SMFS

4 comments:

  1. You realize it's borderline child abuse to lock your child in their bedroom at night!? Not to mention a HUGE fire hazard. Irresponsible mother of the year award goes to....
    Alicia

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    1. Hi Alicia!

      I appreciate your comment and totally understand where you are coming from. Please let me explain myself. The lock is a safety first child safety lock purchased from babies r us. My child's bedroom is directly beside the stairs and he was leaving his room in the middle of the night in the dark which is extrely dangerous. The recommendation for the safety lock came from my paediatrician as I did not know how to preven this from happening. She suggested the lock and told me what make it was a where to purchase it. Now my son is a bit older and a bit more understanding of the situation so he does stay in his room at night for the most part and I have not had to use the lock since he has turned 3 years of age. I only implemented the lock out of fear for his safety not to put him in danger. These are standard child safety locks for the reasons I have listed above as well as sleep walking.

      This blog as I have mentioned is for people to read and relate we aren't here to judge or be judged and I hope I have explained my situation a bit better and it eases your mind a little bit.

      Thanks for the comment.

      Staci SMFS

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  2. I suppose I was quick to judge, I apologize. For the most part I enjoy reading your blog and think the 3 of you are doing a good job. I was just stunned by what I read. I should probably breathe ten seconds before speaking / typing. I think we can agree to disagree on this point, I'm glad to hear it isn't necessary to use the locked door anymore.
    All the best
    Alicia

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    1. I totally understand Alicia. Everybody has a different way of doing things and we respect and welcome all comments and opinions. That is what we are here for. Thank you for supporting us we really do appreciate it :).

      Staci SMFS

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