Friday, December 21, 2012

The ups of single parenting ->

Being a single mom, especially a young one, would bring that feeling that I was being judged constantly. When I was pregnant, I was 21 but I looked like I was 14 and for those of you who know me now, at the age of 26, I still look like I'm 14!

Granted, dressing in jeans and a hoodie with a toque doesn't help my cause! I've slowly just learned to not care so much of what others think. I know I am a good mother, I know my son loves me unconditionally and that's all that matters. I've definitely had those "Oh your little brother is adorable" comments which used to bother me, but now it's fun to just play along. When I left my husband, it became even more difficult dealing with the stigma of "young AND single mom". People have there assumptions about people like us. We automatically become irresponsible, out of control, neglectful parents. It's up to us to break that stereotype. Yes I'm a single mom, yes I have tattoos, yes I have piercings, yes I enjoy hanging with my friends and having a beer, but why does that make me a bad mother? Beyond that, I am a gentle, loving, attachment parenting lover who applauds long term breastfeeding, gentle discipline and the natural way of raising a child. I'm not saying I have a perfect, well behaved child but he is who he is which I'm happy about. I've allowed him to grow into himself and establish his own independence which has brought with that a LOT of disagreement, but it's all about time and consistency that will allow him to bloom into a rad little dude. So when we are at the grocery store and he has a tantrum, it's not my tattoos or piercings that are the cause of that, it's that he is 4 and very strong willed. 

hmm.. where was I going with this.... Oh right! Benefits of single parenting!

First and foremost, the one-on-one time spent with your child(ren) allows a unique bond to form. Depending on everyones situation, we are playing both the mother and the father most of the time. Let's just hope my son can find a woman as good as mom when he's older LOL

It takes a village to raise a child- this is even more true with children being raised in a single parent family. We get to experience a community, filled with people that will have your back. This is what we are trying to do with Single moms, fresh start. We want to have that strong community established to make our single mothering a little easier. 

Chores become necessity. Children begin to recognize the value of helping out which allows them to develop pride in their work. They also get to see their parent working hard to support the family, which sets a precedent for them. 

The list goes on. What are some of your favourite benefits of single parenting? 


1 comment:

  1. Wonderfully put kim!!! And especially relevant!! combining rates of divorced single-parent households and never-married single-parent households it estimated that ONLY 20% of black children and 40% of whites grow up living with both parents throughout highschool!So I would hedge my bets and say the the single-parent household will become even more prominent in the next few generations...