Monday, December 24, 2012

Tis the Season!

The joy of the holidays are somewhat camouflaged as a single mother. For me planning for the holidays starts in September. Ben's dad and I begin discussing the holiday season in September and it takes about 3 months to finalize our plans. Where will Ben go on what day? Who will bring him to his grandparents in Acton? Who will have him Christmas Day? When will he see his Nana in Lagoon City? What day will he see his Gramsie? What about Ben's dad? It is extremely hectic.

This year was a bit more hectic then others as Ben's dad is showing a lot more interest in being a fantastic father. So our schedule went like this (so I thought) Ben's dad had him on his schedule weekend, which was this one, then he would drop him off on Christmas Eve day and come back on Christmas morning to open gifts from Santa with Ben.Well it didn't quite turn out that way, plans got rattled and Ben's dad decided not to spend Christmas morning with us which is fine.This weekend they went shopping, made a gingerbread house and went to visit his Grandfather in Acton (I ended up joining) then sunday night his Nana was over at his Dad's house and they did Christmas eve last night. Today Ben comes home with his Dad and Nana and we will exchange gifts then we are off to my Nanas to make Christmas Eve dinner and tomorrow to Bolton to see my Aunt and my Mom. Then Thursday he is back with his dad. Then we had to figure out New Year the last 3 years Ben's dad has not had Ben for New Year so I asked him if he'd like him this year. So Ben will go to his dads on the 31st and I will pick him up the afternoon of Jan 1st.

Im sure it is exhausting for any adult to just read that paragraph. So the question is, if it is exhausting for us to look at what is it like for my 3 year old? My major concern when Ben was born was that he would always be tossed around as his dads parents are not together nor do they get along so my sons dad is always bouncing back and forth. I had never experienced how a divorced family works as my father passed away when I was 8. My hopes were that my sons dads parents would come together after Ben was born and put their differences aside, this was the first year they did that. But because Ben's dad and I are not together it seems that my fear is a reality. Im not too sure how it will affect Ben in the future but it may be a positive thing because Ben sees how much family he has to support him and love him. My hopes is that one day my family and my sons dad's family can come together and celebrate the holiday together in one place. Here's to dreaming, but hey dreams can become reality.

I would love to hear other stories on how you make Christmas work with the other parent or the family in general? Do you have your child this season? Do you alternate holidays every other year? Who are you sharing this holiday season with?

From our family to your SMFS is wishing you all a very happy and safe holiday season!

Thank you for the continued support and keep reading! 

- Staci SMFS

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